{"id":1029,"date":"2019-01-13T16:28:07","date_gmt":"2019-01-13T19:28:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/?p=1029"},"modified":"2019-01-13T16:28:07","modified_gmt":"2019-01-13T19:28:07","slug":"grandes-classicos-do-cinema","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs2.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/2019\/01\/13\/grandes-classicos-do-cinema\/","title":{"rendered":"GRANDES CL\u00c1SSICOS DO CINEMA"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Semana passada, eis que descobri, por acaso, perdido em meio as ofertas de um prateleira de livros o t\u00edtulo 99 filmes cl\u00e1ssicos para apressadinhos de Thomas Wengelevski ,<\/em><\/strong> concebido com o mesmo prop\u00f3sito anterior, mas desta vez para filmes e com uma dose de humor adicional j\u00e1 que, direcionado para a juventude. \u00a0Levei o livro \u00a0para casa com dois prop\u00f3sitos. Primeiro para esmiu\u00e7ar as tais mini vers\u00f5es de filmes que j\u00e1 havia assistido e, segundo, para enriquecer a minha interpreta\u00e7\u00e3o de alguns filmes que, mesmo sendo cl\u00e1ssicos, ficaram em minha mente com algum resqu\u00edcio de incompletude.<\/p>\n

Como, por exemplo, Cidad\u00e3o Kane que havia assistido na tenra idade, sempre apresentado como um dos maiores filmes de todos os tempos e que, na \u00e9poca, \u00a0n\u00e3o me convenceu disso. Devo dizer que, em geral, o resultado, embora irregular pareceu-me satisfat\u00f3rio. Seguem algumas simp\u00e1ticas vers\u00f5es.<\/p>\n

Cidad\u00e3o Kane.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Um rep\u00f3rter investiga a palavra que Charles Foster falou em seu leito de morte. Rosebud. Kane era podre de rico, \u00a0mas sentia falta de algo.<\/p>\n

Sim, a tal coisa que faltava era felicidade. Mas, p\u00f4, um cara com aquela grana podia ter tudo. E quem n\u00e3o seria feliz na mans\u00e3o Xanadu? Acontece que Rosebud era o tren\u00f3 de Hearst, digo Kane.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 o cara tem dinheiro pra tudo e sente falta de um tren\u00f3! \u00a0Sei…<\/p>\n

Alien, o Oitavo Passageiro.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Esse filme \u00e9 sobre penetras. A nave \u00a0Nostromos pega, por engano, uma carona alien\u00edgena. A \u00a0tenente Ripley fica pensando: Como dizer ao carona que ele n\u00e3o \u00e9 bem vindo?<\/p>\n

O pior \u00e9 que o alien\u00edgena vai se infiltrando, penetrando nas pessoas e quando sai deles sai matando. E o pior \u00e9 que o danado nem levou vinho pra espa\u00e7onave. Ripley se cansa de bancar a anfitri\u00e3 e sai da festa numa nave auxiliar. O Alien n\u00e3o se manca e vai atr\u00e1s dela, \u00a0que tem de bota-lo pra fora. E ele n\u00e3o diz nem um obrigado. Que convidado ingrato!<\/p>\n

O Poderoso Chef\u00e3o<\/strong><\/p>\n

Li\u00e7\u00e3o 1. Mate o cavalo do seu inimigo.<\/p>\n

Li\u00e7\u00e3o 2. Mate o chefe de pol\u00edcia corrupto.<\/p>\n

Li\u00e7\u00e3o 3. Mate todos os seus inimigos durante o batizado do seu sobrinho.<\/p>\n

Dona Flor e seus dois Maridos.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Dona Flor \u00e9 bonita e gostosa, mas acaba se apaixonando por um cafajeste bom de cama que faz dela gato e sapato, principalmente no carnaval, porque sai vestido de mulher com os sapatos dela.<\/p>\n

O cara gosta tanto de carnaval que resolve se mandar pro \u00a0inferno porque l\u00e1 o que n\u00e3o vai lhe faltar \u00e9 cafajestada e putaria. Para isso morre na quarta feira de cinzas.<\/p>\n

Virando esp\u00edrito volta pra atazanar a vida do novo marido de Flor colocando-lhe um belo par de chifres. Flor fica feliz da vida porque agora pode transar de verdade com um esp\u00edrito e ao mesmo tempo com seu marido, sem precisar fingir o orgasmo.<\/p>\n

Obs. Este \u00a0ultimo resumo foi uma inspira\u00e7\u00e3o e um arroubo deste cronista porque n\u00e3o havia filme brasileiro na lista e a onda agora \u00e9 \u2018p\u00e1tria amada , Brasil\u2019.\u00a0 Que tal?<\/p>\n

Jos\u00e9 Ewerton Neto \u00e9 autor de O ABC bem humorado de S\u00e3o Luis<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Semana passada, eis que descobri, por acaso, perdido em meio as ofertas de um prateleira de livros o t\u00edtulo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1029","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"yoast_head":"\nGRANDES CL\u00c1SSICOS DO CINEMA - 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